Kids & Sleep: Set a Routine

Setting a bedtime routine is essential to keeping children well rested. In the video above, parenting expert and author Ann Pleshette Murphy explains

Setting a bedtime routine is essential to keeping children well rested. In this video, Parenting Expert & Author Ann Pleshette Murphy explains that most sleep problems happen before or right after a parent puts their child to bed. And while we like to blame everything on our genes, this has more to do with behavior than it does biology. The Ferber Technique lays out some effective tips that will help ease your child’s transition to sleep such as putting your child to bed when they are drowsy but not fully asleep. There is no doubt that making sure your child gets enough sleep is not only beneficial to them but also to you as a parent.

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This video features Ann Pleshette Murphy.

Duration: 2:46. Last Updated On: Nov. 8, 2017, 6:14 p.m.

Reviewed by: Holly Atkinson, MD, Dr Supriya Jain, Preeti Parikh, MD . Review date: June 23, 2017

00:00 [MUSIC]
00:06 Most sleep problems happen before or right after a parent puts a child to bed.
00:11 And they have a lot more to do with behavior, than biology.
00:15 The vicious cycle goes something like this.
00:18 Johnny isn't getting enough sleep.
00:19 So by bed time, he is skating on very thin ice.
00:24 Mom announces it's time to turn off the TV, go to bed, and Johnny has a meltdown.
00:29 So mom caves, and the result is even less sleep than the night before, so
00:34 Johnny wakes up sleep deprived and by bedtime, he's skating on very thin ice.
00:39 In other words, as Mary Kurcinka points out in her excellent book, Sleepless in
00:44 America, it's not misbehavior that leads to bedtime battles and sleep deprivation.
00:50 It's actually sleep deprivation that leads to misbehavior.
00:55 And that's why it is so important to establish and
00:58 enforce a strict bedtime routine.
01:01 Of course, it's not so easy to do that,
01:03 it's not easy to change patterns, or to get tough when bedtime rolls around.
01:08 I remember this, because when my daughter was 11 months old,
01:12 it took me over an hour to get her to go to sleep, and it involved stories and
01:17 songs and rocking her and talking to her.
01:19 And then, tiptoeing over to the crib, and
01:22 putting her in the crib, and patting her, and singing some more.
01:25 And then, when I knew she was asleep, I would get down on the floor of her room,
01:30 like GI Jane.
01:31 I would crawl out of the room because I didn't want the floor to creak.
01:35 And I was doing this one night when my husband saw me and
01:38 said, what are you doing?
01:39 And I said,
01:41 well, I have to do this because I can't get her to sleep any other way.
01:45 And that is when we decided to try the Ferber technique.
01:49 Now, the Ferber technique is named after a pediatrician, Richard Ferber,
01:53 who wrote Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems.
01:56 And he has solved millions of children's sleep problems simply by
01:59 advising parents to put their child to bed when she's drowsy, but not asleep.
02:05 And the message is, you can do this, you can soothe yourself.
02:08 So when she cries.
02:10 And she will.
02:11 Wait a few minutes before you go in.
02:14 And when you go in, don't pick her up.
02:16 Just pat her, tell her softly that she's okay, that you'll come back.
02:21 But again, don't pick her up, and start the whole routine all over again.
02:25 And the idea is to extend the time you wait before you go back into the room.
02:30 And it can take a couple of days, kind of torturous days, [LAUGH] or
02:33 even a week before your baby gets the message.
02:37 But once she does, and you put her to bed, and you don't hear a peep,
02:41 I promise you're gonna feel as though you have parted the Red Sea.