True Champions Depression: Becoming an Advocate
In this episode of True Champions Depression Erin discusses how writing helped her cope with depression.
In this episode of True Champions Depression Erin discusses how writing helped her cope with depression. Erin uses her blog, Daisies and Bruises, to talk about her own experiences and connect with others that suffer from depression.
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[MUSIC]
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A long time ago I read that writers write
about who they are and
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who they want to be.
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I've always considered myself a writer, so
I'm jumping in here.
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My soul spilled onto photocopied papers,
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a small reflection of me thrown out into
the water.
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I hope it jumps, skips, and soars.
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It doesn't immediately go plunk with a
disappointing splash in the face.
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[MUSIC]
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I used to define myself by my depression.
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That was all I was and I felt like this
broken person who was sick.
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And that was all I was.
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And that was all I'd ever be.
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But slowly I began to realize that a lot
of people have depression.
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A lot of people know someone who has
depression.
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And maybe I can talk about this real
experience of mine and help other people.
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So I started writing about it and
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I started telling people about my
depression.
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And I was so sure that everyone was going
to throw up their hands and
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scream and yell and run away like I was
this monster or something.
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But they didn't and they were quite open
and
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interested in hearing about my experience.
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And so, over time I started talking about
it more and more and, and
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now I write about it on my blog.
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I called it Daisies and Bruises, The Art
of Living with Depression.
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And I've been writing it for three and a
half years.
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I can not believe the size it's gotten to,
the number of people that read my writing.
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And how much better, like, how much it's
helped me on my journey to recovery.
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I write for my younger self who just
wanted help and
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wanted someone to tell her that they've
been there, and they've survived.
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And so, often if if I see someone that
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I'd really like to go over and hug, and
tell them that everything's gonna be okay,
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I decide to give them a business card to
my website.
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To my blog or I just leave them a button.
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[MUSIC]
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So this is my button making process.
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I print them out on the computer.
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I design them, print them out, and then
set to work making them like this.
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I designed this you are beautiful button
because I think it's something people need
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to be told all the time.
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And when I put it on my backpack or on my
jacket,
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people can read the message and I hope
they know the message is for them.
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Because they're beautiful, everybody's
beautiful and nobody feels beautiful.
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And so if I can help someone feel a little
bit beautiful,
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then that's, that's amazing.
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That makes me happy.
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In my mental health treatment, I've been
very fortunate to have access to
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a psychiatrist, to be able to afford
medication, and a lot of people.
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I'd say most people who have depression
don't have those kinds of
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resources at their disposal.
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And so I want to take what I've learned
through my treatment and
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share it with the world so that everyone
can feel better and feel helped.
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[BLANK_AUDIO]
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Once I started to feel like, okay, a lot
of people have depression.
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And I'm not a freak for having it.
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And I could talk about it.
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I, I went to this mental health agency
here in London,
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that I'd seen their office.
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I'd walk by it before.
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Mindyourmind is a website for youth, by
youth.
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I went in there one day and I said I'd
like to volunteer for
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you because I have a lot of mental health
experience.
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I think it was a real test for me to go
out into the world and
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say this is who I am and this is what I
do.
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And, and they welcome me.
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And that helped me grow as a person and
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decide what I wanna do with my life, which
is continue a similar work forever.
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[LAUGH] Suddenly I have a purpose behind
my depression, you know?
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I can shape it into something.
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I can work with and live with and help
other people with.
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And that has helped me stay positive, if
not for myself, for my readers.
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I recently had a commenter on my blog say,
oh you've saved my life.
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You know, I was gonna hurt myself tonight
but I didn't.
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And someone recently said, you're my role
model.
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[LAUGH] It's like.
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I am?
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Really?
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And it's, I don't know,
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it's, I didn't think writing a blog would
change my life so much.
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I didn't think it would help my recovery
so much.
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They say that, like, to really understand
something you have to teach it to other
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people and my blog has given me so much
purpose and
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meaning and help, in addition to giving
those things to other people.
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But it's just such an exciting thing to do
with my life.
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For while the tale of how we suffer, and
how we are delighted, and
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how we made triumph we never knew.
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It always must be heard.
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There isn't any other tale to tell.
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It's the only light we've got in all this
darkness.
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[MUSIC]